SUMMER IS HERE. UNI HAS BEEN SUCH A PAIN BUT I CAN FINALLY RELAX. Well maybe relax is the wrong word here, more I can focus on my own things.

Summer for me last year, to say the least sucked. I mopped around in my bed most of the time and could barely focus on anything, the only thing I was focused on was playing Zelda: tears of the Kingdom which wasn't a bad way to spend the summer but it felt like the only reason I played that game so much was that it was the easiest thing for my brain to do and everything else felt impossible to do. But this summer is gonna be different.... hopefully. I have gone through these feelings many times. First happy about summer coming because I can focus on my own things, then I do nothing but become an unproductive depressed sack, and then I'm happy for uni or school to be back cus it at the very least makes me feel like I'm doing something with my life. The main difference I'm gonna do this year is I'm gonna plan out my days thoroughly. It is so much easier to focus on something when I have planned it for a specific time frame. And when I say thoroughly I MEAN IT. What things I'll help with, what songs I'll work on, what games I'll play when I'll eat and fix food, everything. Even things like picking up a game to play can be really difficult and tiring for me so having it planned makes it so much easier to start. Gonna try and make sure my parents know that if they want me to do something tell me in advance so I can plan it in. The biggest problem with being home with my parents is I don't know when my family will need me for something which makes it hard to plan things resulting in me just laying around waiting for my parents to ask for help.

I have tried to make a list of things I want to do this summer, made it look like an achievement list to motivate myself. It's already looking very crowded. Some of the things I've written include making a bunch of music tourney tracks, learning to cook, finish a bunch of games in my backlog, fix my joycons, learn to mod or even repair my old consoles, learn disassembling software, get back to speed on some old uni courses I've been dragging behind me and prepare for the new courses in autumn and this is only taking into account things I've written down so far, other things I'd love to do is learn to draw, learn to sing, research and learn new music making techniques. Ugh summer has barely already begun and I've already overwhelmed myself.... great. You know even if I manage to focus on things, plan things out and follow the schedule I make for myself, it doesn't mean I'll actually get as much done as I want to. Don't know what would be worse, me moping around for another summer, or trying my best and still getting nothing done. The worst part is I don't even know what expectations I should have on myself. How much should I expect myself to do this summer, should I plan out every part of the day or should I let myself have free time even if it is spent on nothing but sitting around doing nothing, should I honestly even try planning out things or should I try and spend the summer recharging for uni? God I wish I knew. But hey I won't know if it will work until I try it so I'll give it my best.... hmmmm giving it your best... that phrase always bothered me. Like how do I know I'm really doing my best, I could think of many situations where I did terribly or did not make much of an effort on something but I at the same time couldn't pull myself to do more you know? If I was in a different mood like more stressed or scared about the situation I probably would have tried harder and have gotten more done. So did I really do my best in that case? Maybe for how I felt at the time I did my best but then the point of the phrase kinda fails if you just do as well as your current mood, then you are not really doing your best. Doing your best that phrase feels so empty honestly.

Don't know where to put this but I also got two new followers not too long ago, feels strange since I haven't been posting anything recently but it's nice to see at least.

God I hope this summer will be good too me, I don't have much original music planned out so this account probably won't be seeing much activity sadly. But who knows maybe I can get a song done, I hope so. And I think that's all from me right now, technically there are other things I could write about but I don't feel like trying to write every single thing on my mind over the past week and this post is already long enough where I'm satisfied with my effort. The fact that I could get myself out of bed and focus on this in the morning is a good start I'd say. I woke up early and couldn't go back to sleep so I started working on this and a few other things 6 in the morning instead of the planned 8 lol. I gonna so fucking tired in the afternoon but now that I don't have to worry about any uni courses it really shouldn't be that much of a problem. Hope you have a good summer as well, no matter how you plan to spend it. Have a good one, hopefully I'll see you around.

Yo, I mentioned in my past post how I made a mashup in the music tourney community and it's now out! Not only that but another mashup I finished just a few days ago is also out now. I would mean the world to me if you checked it out. You should also check out CHANCE and the music tourney community in general, I'd recommend starting at Mashup week megamix.

Here's the direct links:

Tidal Inferno

Barnacle Boy Goes Home

As someone who'd been a fan of the music tourney scene for a long time I'm really happy to finaly help out in it. I plan to continue making tracks for Chance, if I get the chance (uh... I swear that pun wasn't intended) I'll try and make some arrangments as well. Who knows maybe they'll allow to post them to my newgrounds account as well. Would be nice if I could get some more music up.

Gotta say some of these past few weeks have not been the easiest and it's not helping that I'm starting a bunch of new courses at uni right now and I already feel overwhelmed by them. Not helping that there are some old courses I'm behind in. My parents say it could be a lot worse which is the case I guess, I only have two courses I'm behind in right now and one of them I plan to fix under the summer, but it's not like I don't already spend a lot of time on the courses I'm having currently so it's not helping my situation man. Gonna try and put a lot of time on all the courses at the start, I always end up lagging behind in most of them so if I try and put in extra time from the start I'll hopefully have an easier time during exam season.

As always I want to be more productive but as always I'm struggling with it. I atleast managed to get myself to write this post, which is a plus. I honestly don't know how well I'm actually improving on being productive, feels like I've been worse recently, but at the same time I'm going to uni and it's a good thing not to try and strain yourself on personal projects when I have studies to do as well. I plan on trying to focus more on personal projects under the summer, this was the exact same plan I had last summer where I failed miserably and basically did nothing for the summer, but this time I plan on spending more time in my student apartment rather than home at my parents. I feel it's much easier to plan when I'm living alone, I still plan to visit my parents a bit of course but this will hopefully make it so that I won't spend my days literally sleeping cus I don't feel like doing anything else.

And that's all I can think about saying right now, wish I could think about more to write about but eh... nothing else sticks out that much so I'll keep it to just this. Hope you have a good day.

Well hi persons who are reading this, I don't know if anyone will read these but that's not the point of this one. I just want a place to write out some things I've been thinking or working on lately (some or even all of these things might never be finished tho) and just also write about other things I'm doing that I want to share and that's hard for me to share IRL so newgrounds blog it is.

I've been trying to work a bit on an old OC idea of mine again, I kind of left them for over a year and wasn't planning on trying to work on them again but lately, I've been motivated again to work on them. It has led me to try and research some music genres I think they would generally like like Utopian Virtual and mallsoft although I'm a bit unsure if that's the exact vibe I want out of them. I also want them to have a sort of old computer vibe like music you'd hear in a 90 computer game. I think I'm generally thinking of what genres they have because I've been into the music tourney community for a while now and I always think about what source list they'd have in them. I also might want to create some music for them, which is also a big reason I want to define what vibe they'd have. Right now I'd say there vibe would be something like utopian virtual or something like Graham Kartna's Shot the Moon or Childern's music for big kids albums with a generally happy vibe and old text to speech sounding vocals and maybe some glitch effects and vocals.

Outside of that I've also been trying to research the Chillwave genre as I'm trying to do a little thing in a server I'm in where I post a song each day related to a character I like and they so happen to be related to the Chillwave genre. But man I'm getting super confused over what exactly chillwave is. When I think of chillwave I generally think of music by HOME, like Tides or above all but now that I'm trying to explore more I'm very unsure of what exactly is defined as chillwave. (This is where I'd give examples of albums but I forgot the names of them and the internet on my computer right now is trash so it's not easy to look them up)

But the point is that a lot of those albums sound more like vaporwave and hypnagogic pop to me which isn't that surprising considering those genres are pretty related to chillwave but it makes it hard for me to know what is chillwave and what is not. There's no exact line you can draw with genres as you can't exactly define what a song has to do to be in a genre and a song can be in multiple genres at the same time but this doesn't really help me in my search for chillwave.

Chillwave isn't the only related thing to the character tho and finding and doing research into what's related to the character is pretty fun as it made me listen to music I would have never listened to otherwise. Like did you know there is a cover of the song 500 miles that was made for bob the builder? It's true look it up.

I would explain how exactly this with songs related to a character works but I really don't feel like trying to explain music tourney things here. If anyone wants to know post a comment and I'll link a document and some extra information that will hopefully make what I'm talking about make sense, although I highly doubt someone is even going to read this entire post.

Man, I'm trying to get back into making music again but fuuuuuuuuuuuck there are always problems I come across. I have a lot and I mean A LOT of ideas but I can't concentrate on a single one. My mind is always bouncing from one idea to the next and because a lot of my ideas are ambitious I can never lay down enough time and focus to finish them. Currently, I'm interested in learning how to make Big band, orchestral, chiptune, chillwave, utopian virtual, mallsoft, lofi hip hop, and how to generally use text to speach software, and that's all for different things.

I always either get bored, run into a giant wall of no idea where I go from here, or run into I can't get it to sound exactly like I want it to so I give up. eugh I want to be more active musically but man is it hard. I think partly this is due to me being autistic. Is that too personal to write? eh it's not like I don't want people to know I'm autistic. But I'm at least trying to get a hang of how to work with autism and I can definitely say I'm in a better spot now than a few months back but man, progress is so slow man, it's hard to notice a change when every step you take is only a millimeter.

I've also been learning mashups a bit as well, mainly as I've wanted to help out in the music tourney scene and they generally focus on mashups over arrangments. Only a few days back I finished a mashup for one of those projects and a pretty big one at that, which I'm very happy with considering that I wasn't very confident in my skills in making mashups before, although now I'm in the hole of "great..... what do I do now?".

Recently watched a playthrough of a DDLC mod called Exit music redux, and man that mod was amazing but also really depressing, left me feeling really sad and empty for a day, and still when I think about the mod I just become sad. I'd only recommend it if you can really emotionally detach yourself from the characters. Don't look up the mod if you easily get sad, it's good but it's not worth you throwing away your mental health for, I'm serious it gets really really dark. Hopefully, if someone ends up reading this they aren't of those people that will do something just because someone told them not to do it.

Man I wish I could talk about these things with my family and other friends, but these things are so disconnected from what I usually talk about that I don't really know how to bring them up or if they even care. And I don't want to seem egotistical by talking about what I'm doing all the time. Writing all of these things out tho has felt pretty good I must say.

Well thanks for reading, apologize if this ended up being very scatterbrained it's just I have so many different ideas that I want to share that it's hard for me to focus on a single one. Anyway, thanks for reading I might try and do these more often even if I never end up finishing any of the stuff I mention it's nice to write about it, although considering my track record this will probably be something I think I'll do again but in actuality I'll never do it again. Eh, I guess we can only wait and see. And if you actually did read all the way through this entire post, thanks that means a lot to me :)

Don't really know if anyone cares but I decided at the very least to update on what I'm working on, there's quite a bit. First of all and the reason why I'm writing this is that I just got accepted into making music for the Sonic Legacy comic. I'm really happy to be accepted and they got dubs of their comics on Newgrounds so definitely check them out.

Here's a link to the first one: https://www.newgrounds.com/portal/view/803990

So expect a few Sonic covers in the near future but I'm also working on music for a fnf mod in development. I'm not gonna say a lot about it except that it's rather ambitious and that I have no idea how much music I'll make for it or when it will be finished. I have so far created two songs for it, one of them being Ominous factory, but I'll wait with the other one till the first-week demo is done, whenever that will be.

The next song that I'll upload will be for the video game music challenge on Newgrounds. Don't know when it will be done but hopefully, it will be before the deadline of 29 November. I might end up doing one more song based on another of the settings since I really wanted another one from the one I got.

Lastly there's one other song I specifically made for someone for an animation. I don't know when the animation will be finished but I'll probably wait until it's finished before I upload it.

Anyway, that's all for now bye.

Whoa, you read the entire thing? Why thank you :)

I know having my first post be about listening to someone else's music probably isn't a good idea but that's a problem for future me. Anyway to my two fans and any else that happens to see this my friend Virtuus just uploaded his first track titled end me, https://www.newgrounds.com/audio/listen/1079854 to Newgrounds and I want you to listen to it. He's been creating music for a much longer period than I have and I think he's much better at making music than he gives himself credit for. Please go listen to it and follow him if you like it.