Well hi persons who are reading this, I don't know if anyone will read these but that's not the point of this one. I just want a place to write out some things I've been thinking or working on lately (some or even all of these things might never be finished tho) and just also write about other things I'm doing that I want to share and that's hard for me to share IRL so newgrounds blog it is.

I've been trying to work a bit on an old OC idea of mine again, I kind of left them for over a year and wasn't planning on trying to work on them again but lately, I've been motivated again to work on them. It has led me to try and research some music genres I think they would generally like like Utopian Virtual and mallsoft although I'm a bit unsure if that's the exact vibe I want out of them. I also want them to have a sort of old computer vibe like music you'd hear in a 90 computer game. I think I'm generally thinking of what genres they have because I've been into the music tourney community for a while now and I always think about what source list they'd have in them. I also might want to create some music for them, which is also a big reason I want to define what vibe they'd have. Right now I'd say there vibe would be something like utopian virtual or something like Graham Kartna's Shot the Moon or Childern's music for big kids albums with a generally happy vibe and old text to speech sounding vocals and maybe some glitch effects and vocals.

Outside of that I've also been trying to research the Chillwave genre as I'm trying to do a little thing in a server I'm in where I post a song each day related to a character I like and they so happen to be related to the Chillwave genre. But man I'm getting super confused over what exactly chillwave is. When I think of chillwave I generally think of music by HOME, like Tides or above all but now that I'm trying to explore more I'm very unsure of what exactly is defined as chillwave. (This is where I'd give examples of albums but I forgot the names of them and the internet on my computer right now is trash so it's not easy to look them up)

But the point is that a lot of those albums sound more like vaporwave and hypnagogic pop to me which isn't that surprising considering those genres are pretty related to chillwave but it makes it hard for me to know what is chillwave and what is not. There's no exact line you can draw with genres as you can't exactly define what a song has to do to be in a genre and a song can be in multiple genres at the same time but this doesn't really help me in my search for chillwave.

Chillwave isn't the only related thing to the character tho and finding and doing research into what's related to the character is pretty fun as it made me listen to music I would have never listened to otherwise. Like did you know there is a cover of the song 500 miles that was made for bob the builder? It's true look it up.

I would explain how exactly this with songs related to a character works but I really don't feel like trying to explain music tourney things here. If anyone wants to know post a comment and I'll link a document and some extra information that will hopefully make what I'm talking about make sense, although I highly doubt someone is even going to read this entire post.

Man, I'm trying to get back into making music again but fuuuuuuuuuuuck there are always problems I come across. I have a lot and I mean A LOT of ideas but I can't concentrate on a single one. My mind is always bouncing from one idea to the next and because a lot of my ideas are ambitious I can never lay down enough time and focus to finish them. Currently, I'm interested in learning how to make Big band, orchestral, chiptune, chillwave, utopian virtual, mallsoft, lofi hip hop, and how to generally use text to speach software, and that's all for different things.

I always either get bored, run into a giant wall of no idea where I go from here, or run into I can't get it to sound exactly like I want it to so I give up. eugh I want to be more active musically but man is it hard. I think partly this is due to me being autistic. Is that too personal to write? eh it's not like I don't want people to know I'm autistic. But I'm at least trying to get a hang of how to work with autism and I can definitely say I'm in a better spot now than a few months back but man, progress is so slow man, it's hard to notice a change when every step you take is only a millimeter.

I've also been learning mashups a bit as well, mainly as I've wanted to help out in the music tourney scene and they generally focus on mashups over arrangments. Only a few days back I finished a mashup for one of those projects and a pretty big one at that, which I'm very happy with considering that I wasn't very confident in my skills in making mashups before, although now I'm in the hole of "great..... what do I do now?".

Recently watched a playthrough of a DDLC mod called Exit music redux, and man that mod was amazing but also really depressing, left me feeling really sad and empty for a day, and still when I think about the mod I just become sad. I'd only recommend it if you can really emotionally detach yourself from the characters. Don't look up the mod if you easily get sad, it's good but it's not worth you throwing away your mental health for, I'm serious it gets really really dark. Hopefully, if someone ends up reading this they aren't of those people that will do something just because someone told them not to do it.

Man I wish I could talk about these things with my family and other friends, but these things are so disconnected from what I usually talk about that I don't really know how to bring them up or if they even care. And I don't want to seem egotistical by talking about what I'm doing all the time. Writing all of these things out tho has felt pretty good I must say.

Well thanks for reading, apologize if this ended up being very scatterbrained it's just I have so many different ideas that I want to share that it's hard for me to focus on a single one. Anyway, thanks for reading I might try and do these more often even if I never end up finishing any of the stuff I mention it's nice to write about it, although considering my track record this will probably be something I think I'll do again but in actuality I'll never do it again. Eh, I guess we can only wait and see. And if you actually did read all the way through this entire post, thanks that means a lot to me :)